Tag: Pornography

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You CAN talk to your five year old about pornography– and here’s how

Posted on by Rachel Chipman

Hey parents– imagine yourself talking to your kids about pornography.

 

How old are your kids?

 

If you’re like most parents, you probably pictured your kids as teens, maybe tweens, shifting uncomfortably in their seats as you talk about addiction, sexuality, respect, and exploitation. There’s only one problem with that plan.

 

It’s way too late.

 

By age fifteen, your teenager is more likely to have seen pornography than not. The average age of a kid seeing pornography for the first time? Twelve years old.  Focus on the Family cites research claiming it’s now eight years old!

 

Parents, if you want to get to your kids first– and believe me, you do– you need to start the conversation about pornography with your kids far before the teen years.

 

How?

 

If you cringe at the idea of discussing prostitution, sexual violence, and addiction with your kindergarten, you’re not alone. If you are ready for the birds and the bees, go for it! If not, you can still break it down for them in ways they can understand.

 

At five years old, kids are ready for a label, a definition, and an action plan:

 

“Pornography is pictures, videos, or words that describe or display private parts of people’s bodies like a woman’s breasts and vulva or a man’s penis. Reading or looking at pornography may make you feel good or excited or uncomfortable, or all of these things. Pornography is unhealthy for your brain, so if you see pornography, look away and tell Mom or Dad as soon as you can. If Mom and Dad aren’t there, tell a teacher or another grown-up.”

 

Your family media rules will also provide opportunities to talk to your kids about internet safety and the power of media.

 

Before you hand them an iPad:

 

“Hey bud, come out here while you play Minecraft. You should always have an adult with you while you’re online.”

 

Explaining media rules:

 

“Pictures, videos, and music can influence our thoughts and emotions, which shape our beliefs and attitudes. That’s why we only allow media in our home that fits with our family’s standards.”

 

 

Turning off an inappropriate movie:

 

“We’re not going to watch any more of this movie because it makes X (drinking alcohol, promiscuity, smoking, being unkind to family members, racial prejudice) look cool. X is really very uncool– it’s bad for Y (our bodies, our families, our minds, society, etc.) because Z (it’s addictive, it causes cancer, it makes people feel unloved, it weakens families, etc.). I know you know X is not ok, but if we watch media that makes X look cool, over time, our brains get tricked into thinking that X really isn’t so bad.”

 

Keep things basic and concrete– anything too abstract will only confuse a five year old. Above all, keep the conversation comfortable and open! As your child grows, he or she will be ready for more information, and you will have laid a foundation by starting early.

 

To protect your family online, try the Clean Router! The original parental controls router is still parents’ top choice for flexible content filtering, time restrictions, and more!

 

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Surprise! Black Friday is here!

Posted on by Rachel Chipman

2020 has been a tough year for all of us, so we’re bringing the holiday cheer early this year! That’s right– Black Friday is here! Use the code CLEANBLACK FRIDAY at checkout to get 20% off any new Clean Router subscription for life!

 

More families than ever before are using Clean Router to protect their homes. With school closed, parents working from home, and child care space limited, there’s no way today’s parents can do it all. Clean Router offers parents the chance to know their children are safe online without the hassle of hanging over their shoulders. Our multi-layer filtering system is completely customizable, so you can adjust and re-adjust the settings to fit your growing family’s needs.

 

This is the ONLY time of year we have a sale, so don’t wait! Get your Clean Router today before this promotion ends.

 

Clean Router is the only wireless parental controls router with content filtering on the market. Our easy to use custom controls, packet filtering, cutting edge security, and top-notch support make us the best choice for busy parents who want to block porn and other adult content from their homes and keep their kids safe online. Clean Router is suitable for home and office use. Questions? Give us a call at 520-445-4673 or email us at support@cleanrouter.com.

 

 

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How to make a Facebook feed you actually enjoy

Posted on by Rachel Chipman

It’s happened to all of us. You get online hoping to see someone’s new baby or a clever meme, but after a few gory hunting photos and some even bloodier political posts, you log off with a bad taste in your mouth.

 

Many people don’t know they can curate their Facebook feeds by telling Facebook what they’d like to see more or less of. Parents, this is a great thing to do with your kids every so often– think of it as a Facebook parental controls feature.

 

1) Unfollow

The most straightforward way to weed out unwanted content from your Facebook feed is to use the unfollow button ruthlessly. You can unfollow people and pages by clicking the three dots in the top right corner of the post and clicking Unfollow [name of person or page]. The person (or page) can’t see you have unfollowed them, but you won’t see any of their posts on your feed. On the fence? Click Snooze instead, and you won’t see their posts for 30 days.

 

2) Hide

Most of us see the same 8-10 ads over and over again on our feed. Facebook advertising targets people based on their demographics: age, location, and interests. If you’re tired of seeing a specific ad, click the three dots on the top right corner of the ad and choose Hide ad. If you don’t want to see any more ads from the company, click Why am I seeing this ad? You’ll see this page here, which is actually a really interesting snapshot of how Facebook uses your data to market to you.

If you’re only interested in getting rid of Banana Republic ads (for example), you can just click Hide and be done. This is the most effective way to block porn website ads. But, you can also click either of the top categories and remove the information that Facebook has been using from your profile or click Make changes to your ad preferences and quickly hide ads from companies you’ve interacted seen recently. You can even choose to see fewer of popular ad topics, like politics. Check out the Ad Settings tab on the page to see and control how Facebook chooses which ads to show you– it’s pretty wild.

 

3) Report

If you see a downright nasty post, don’t brush it off. Reporting inappropriate posts to Facebook improves your feed AND everyone else’s. The reporting process is quick (less than a minute) and anonymous, so you’ve got nothing to lose. This is the best way to handle porn, violence, and inappropriate content.

 

4) Manage Favorites

Now that you have weeded out the content you DON’T want to see, you can tell Facebook what you DO want to see. Click the arrow in the top right corner of the page and select Settings and Privacy, News Feed Settings, then Manage Favorites. Facebook will show posts from pages and people you select on this page at the top of your news feed. You can have up to thirty pages and/people on your Favorites list, and you can edit the list on this page any time.

 

For more tips on parental controls, how to block or curate social media platforms, or block porn, check out these other posts on our blog!

 

Clean Router is the only parental controls router on the market with easy to use custom controls, cutting edge security, and top-notch support. Questions? Call us at 520-445-4673 or email us at support@cleanrouter.com!

 

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Why Block Porn: For your husband/wife

Posted on by Rachel Chipman

This installment of our “Why Block Porn” series focuses on pornography’s impact on marriages and spouses.

 

Like smoking, pornography has the most impact on users. However, also like secondhand smoke, people close to pornography users can be drastically affected. The user’s spouse in particular suffers intensely.

And yet, pornography users often think the only people they are only hurting themselves. Here are several reasons why “secondhand porn” is so destructive.

 

Porn ruins your spouse’s self esteem

It’s bad enough that everywhere your wife looks she sees photoshopped bikini models, “Ten ways to keep him interested,” “Get rid of stretch marks overnight,” and “Lose 15 pounds in 5 days!” Now even her husband is fascinated with made up, surgically enhanced, and digitally altered actresses.

Husbands are vulnerable as well. Pornography depicts unrealistic male bodies as well as physiologically impossible results. With all the pixelated fireworks, men often feel they can’t measure up.

 

Porn takes your spouse’s marriage

After watching pornography, viewers reported being less in love with their spouse than before. Spouses of porn addicts find that their loving, caring partner is replaced by a moody, secretive stranger. When your spouse realizes that his/her spouse’s feelings are waning, the intimacy and trust in that relationship decrease as well.

 

Porn attacks your spouse’s mental health

Upon learning their spouse has been viewing pornography, most spouses feel angry, hurt, and betrayed. But for some, the emotional effects continue and get stronger. Many spouses experience anxiety and depression. To make matters worse, they feel incredibly lonely as they feel they must keep their partner’s secret, so they have no one to turn to.

 

Regardless of what you may have thought, pornography is not a victimless habit. For the sake of your spouse (future or otherwise), please block pornography from your house.

 

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4 ways to porn-proof young children (without shattering their innocence)

Posted on by Rachel Chipman

When do you need to start talking to your kids about pornography? According to internet safety experts, it needs to begin before your kids go online for the first time. Sounds reasonable, right? Maybe fifteen years ago, but thanks to tablets and mobile devices, most kids are using apps and streaming shows before their third birthday. Sure, you might begin explaining the basics of human reproduction to a three year old, but most parents aren’t ready to break down sexual violence, addiction, exploitation, and safe sex at this point.

 

Luckily, you CAN prepare your little children against pornography in an effective and age-appropriate manner. Here are four things you can do– and none of them involve a nitty-gritty sex talk.

 

1. Teach them to respect others’ personal boundaries

Pornography is intensely confusing because it blurs the line between consensual and non-consensual sex. Research indicates that pornography users are more likely to support violence against women and to sexually harass others. You might not be ready to talk to your child about sexual harassment, but you can teach him or her from toddlerhood to respect others’ bodies and boundaries. Have firm rules in your house that no means no, and if someone is not enjoying a certain activity, that form of play stops immediately. If your child develops these values, he or she will be able to recognize the unhealthy dynamics of pornography, no matter his or her age.

 

2. Respect THEIR personal boundaries

Here’s the flip side of respect– children need to have their bodies and boundaries respected as well, even if the activity seems harmless or someone’s feelings will be hurt. Pornography is tricky– it tries to create gray areas where boundary violations and abuse seem acceptable because of who did it or because the person whose wishes were ignored seemed ok afterwards. As a parent (or grandparent, or teacher, or caretaker), your job is to demonstrate their bodies and boundaries should be respected unless there’s a hygiene, medical, or safety need involved. Sorry, brushing teeth has got to happen, kiddo.  But unwanted tickling and kisses? Should be a no-go.

 

3.Watch TV with them

Media is unrealistic, and that’s often what makes it fun. Sometimes the fantastic aspects are obvious– dragons, Jedi, zombies, balloons that can lift a house. Other times, though, it’s less obvious– put-downs that don’t hurt feelings, inept adults, implausible romances. Kids need to consume media alongside parents or trusted adults to open a dialogue about what is real and what isn’t. This can prevent media of any kind, including pornography, from warping their developing expectations.

 

4.Kindness counts

This one’s simple: pornography shows everything except kindness. The higher value you place on kindness in your home, the less likely your children will be to perceive a lack of kindness as attractive. Gordon B. Hinckley, a prominent religious leader, once said that love “is not so much a matter of romance as it is an anxious concern for the comfort and well-being of one’s companion.” This is what pornography doesn’t show– and it is what children of any age desperately need to see.

 

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Kids and teens who watch porn more dissatisfied later in life, study finds

Posted on by Rachel Chipman

A study published in The Journal of Sex Research found that teens who watch porn feel less satisfied and watch more porn later as adults.

 

The study, conducted by Brian J. Willoughby, Bonnie Young-Petersen, and Nathan D. Leonhardt, asked 908 adults about their prior and current pornography use, personal relationships, and mental health. These adults were asked to provide data in these areas for each year of their lives beginning at age seven.

 

The responders roughly fell into four different categories based on the age at which they began using pornography:

 

*Early engager: 7-10 years old

*Pubescent engager: 11-13 years old

*Late engager: 14-17 years old

*Abstainers: Almost no engagement with pornography at any age

 

The participants in the first two groups, those who began viewing pornography consistently between the ages of seven and thirteen years old, were more likely to have continued viewing pornography throughout their lives and consumed more pornography than the other two groups. They also were more likely to agree with these statements:

 

“My thoughts about pornography are causing problems in my life.”

 

“My desires to view pornography disrupt my daily life.”

 

“I sometimes fail to meet my commitments and responsibilities because of my pornography use.”

 

“Sometimes my desire to view pornography is so great that I lose control.”

 

“I have to struggle not to view pornography.”

 

Unsurprisingly, these early engagers were also more likely to use pornography compulsively as adults.

 

 

The participants in the abstainer group were more likely to be married as adults and reported slightly better mental health and greater life satisfaction than those in other groups.

 

The data from this study also suggested that those who used pornography infrequently or inconsistently demonstrated similar patterns and outcomes to the abstainer group. This may be the best news of the study: healing is possible!

 

Despite all the positive outcomes for teens who avoided pornography, the researchers found that these teens were less sexually knowledgeable and confident than their peers who watched porn. The study’s authors stressed the importance of providing teens with appropriate sex education and preparing them to be confident in their sexuality as adults.

 

 

The authors of this study also repeatedly emphasized the negative consequences for pornography use as children. These children grew up to use more pornography, display more dysfunctional pornography use (like addiction and compulsive use), were significantly less satisfied with their lives, and were least likely to be married as adults. As parents, we may not be able to shield our children from pornography forever, but simply protecting them through childhood will pay dividends for their future.

 

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Forget Momo, here’s what parents really need to understand about YouTube

Posted on by Rachel Chipman

If you clicked on this article hoping to read about Momo, you are in the wrong place. The horrifying creature has already gotten more attention than she (it?) deserves, and I’d rather not waste any more words on her. And I certainly won’t be including any pictures.

 

Momo captures every parent’s worst fear about the internet, so the story has understandably caught fire online, but she (it?) has not changed anything about YouTube. The reality of the dangers of YouTube are larger than any one threat of questionable veracity.

 

But I just emerged from under a rock and have no idea what you’re talking about!! What’s Momo?? Pleeaassee??

 

Fine.

 

Momoisaterrifyingpossiblyfemaleprobablyfictionalcharacterthatappearsinthemiddleofseeminglyinnocentvideosofcartooncharactersandtellskidstohurtthemselvesandthreatenstheirparents’livesiftheytell.

 

Ok, that’s all the time I’m giving this subject. Moving on…

 

It does not matter if Momo is real or a hoax. Well, it matters to YouTube, law enforcement, and filtering companies like us, Clean Router. But for parents, nothing has changed. YouTube is still a microcosm of the internet as a whole: fun, weird, educational, dumb, incredibly useful, dangerous, uplifting, and capable of wasting hours of your family’s time. With that said, there are some specific aspects of YouTube parents need to understand to protect their families.

 

1) Filtering options exist, but they are not foolproof

Our CleanYouTube is awesome. YouTube Kids is pretty good. Neither are a replacement for parental supervision. Because billions of people can and do add content daily, filters have a hard time keeping up with all the new content. Block YouTube and any alternative your family uses. When your kids access YouTube, insist they do so in a public area of your home with an adult present. Kids think they won’t run into trouble because they are not looking for it; parents may think the same. But the reality is…

 

2) YouTube has gotten sneakier

Not the company themselves, but the users who upload inappropriate content. Obviously the “Girls Gone Wild” videos are trouble, but seemingly innocent options can have yucky surprises. It’s been well-documented over the past few years that videos of popular cartoon characters like Peppa the Pig and Elsa engaging in disturbing behaviors have flooded YouTube and are even slipping by YouTube Kids’ filters. The thumbnail and title contain no hint of the inappropriate content– there is literally no way to know if the video is ok until it’s too late. Gone are the days when raunchy sidebar videos were the most insidious YouTube threat.

 

3) Keeping your kids safe on YouTube requires more vigilance than other online content

Because disturbing YouTube content appears out of the clear blue, visiting YouTube is just more risky than accessing other parts of the internet. For parents, this probably means setting stricter rules. As suggested above, blocking YouTube is wise, especially with an option that allows temporary access with a password, like Clean Router. If you normally require kids to use computers and mobile devices in public areas of your home, you may want to require an adult in the room while using YouTube. You might allow some unstructured web surfing, but make your kids tell you exactly what they will be watching on YouTube, then leave the site when their video is finished. If you choose to allow younger children to watch YouTube videos, you should probably be next to them. On YouTube, secrets and privacy should be nonexistent.

 

Specific internet threats come and go, but the overall danger level of the internet and particularly YouTube stays more or less the same. Even if a scary face is not currently on the front page of Google News, pornography and other disturbing content still exists online, only a few clicks away from your kids. Parents, embrace the cat videos, because if your kids are watching, you should be too.

 

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Establishing Safeguards to Prevent Legal Trouble Online: A guest post from Carver, Cantin & Mynarich

Posted on by Rachel Chipman

As parents, we know excessive screen time and online mischief can impact our kids’ physical and mental health, grades, spirituality, and values. What we often forget or don’t realize, though, is getting into trouble online can have legal consequences for our kids. Today’s guest post from Carver, Cantin & Mynarich offers their legal perspective on why we need to keep our kids safe online.

 

Today’s children are the first digital natives. They were born into a world surrounded by digital devices- the perfect tools for education, communication, and entertainment. Unfortunately, the internet is also a dangerous world with issues ranging from cyber-bullying to inappropriate content. Here are a few ways parents can keep their children safe online and help them avoid legal trouble.   

 

Begin by limiting online time. The longer a child is exposed to digital media, the greater the chance of being exposed to its harmful effects. Several of the harmful effects of lengthy screen time include obesity from a sedentary lifestyle, sleep problems, and behavioral problems like bullying, learning developments, and violence. Additionally, more screen time means more time to find inappropriate content or get into other trouble online.    

 

So, just how much screen time is too much? According to the Academy of Pediatrics (AAP), children under the age of 18 months should not be exposed to any. Those between 18 to 24-months can be exposed to very limited amounts, while those between 2 to 5-years can handle just one hour of supervised exposure. Beyond the age of 5, an allowance of no more than two hours per day is recommended.

 

Next, parents should monitor online time. Besides exposure time, parents need to determine the quality of the content their children consume. They should help their children choose positive educational content and talk about how to make good choices online. This could entail helping kids discern what is “fake news,” putting in place parental controls to ensure kids aren’t looking at overly-sexualized or other age-inappropriate content, or just talking about things online that might interfere with their emotional, physical, or mental well-being. Moreover, parents should watch programs with their children and discuss what they are watching. This will not only help parents monitor what their kids are doing, it will also help teach their kids the boundaries of what is and isn’t appropriate.

 

Consider installing protective software. Given that adults aren’t available 100% of the time to monitor what kids are watching, protective technology can be really helpful. There are a myriad of technologies that can protect them from potentially harmful content. One such tool is Clean Router. This enables parents to manage and monitor all digital devices in their home. As such, it blocks internet pornography, filters Youtube, enforces time restrictions, and logs all activity.

 

Finally, when it comes to your kids’ online time, be consistent with rules and consequences. One of the negative effects of online exposure to inappropriate content is violence, which includes physical and emotional bullying.

 

Cyberbullying is on the rise, especially among teenagers. It is bullying carried out via digital technologies, such as texts, emails, and social media. Among other things, bullying can cause low self-esteem, drugs and alcohol abuse, poor grades in school, and physical and emotional health issues. Moreover, cyberbullying has serious legal ramifications.   

 

Kids also may not realize the danger of sharing personal information or photos online. This is especially true when it comes to sexting, which involves sharing sexually explicit content via digital devices. Your teenager may think they are just sending a cute picture to their significant other, but in some states, sexting between teens can be legally considered the distribution of child pornography. In fact, several states have specific laws on teen sexting. In Missouri, for example, distribution of a minor’s sexually explicit content can attract a one-year jail sentence and $1,000 fine.

 

With serious risks like this, it is critical that parents establish safeguards to protect their children online. Though the internet is an incredible resource, it also opens the door to emotional, physical, and legal risks, especially for kids and teens.

 

 Carver, Cantin & Mynarich are a team of criminal defense lawyers in Springfield, Missouri. The firm specializes in Internet crimes, along with serious felonies, criminal tax, death penalty prosecutions and a wide-range of other criminal cases. The firm is a 2017 and 2018 U.S. News & Best Lawyers Best Law Firm in America.

 

Thank you, Carver, Cantin & Mynarich!

 

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Pastor Nathan: “How should we prioritize prevention vs. addiction recovery?”

Posted on by Rachel Chipman

Should parents and youth leaders focus on preventing kids and teens from encountering pornography or helping those who are addicted break free? In the latest Pastor Nathan video, he explains that placing barriers between youth and pornography is essential, but, for many teens, it’s too late to prevent the initial exposure. The most effective approach, then, is to prevent further encounters while simultaneously helping kids and teens heal from any contact with pornography they may have already had.

 

See Pastor Nathan’s full response below!

 

 

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Pastor Nathan’s religious perspective: “What do you think God wants us to do to protect our families?”

Posted on by Rachel Chipman

This week’s video focuses on Pastor Nathan’s religious principles and why his faith in God motivates him to fight against pornography. If you are religious, or just curious about how religion and and the anti-pornography movement go hand in hand, check out his answer below!

 

 

Pornography erodes personal dignity, harms children and teens, and damages marriages– sometimes beyond repair. Click here to read more about the negative effects of pornography!

 

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